


The Consequences of Pranking Your Best Friend

by Fly_Kitty7000



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Gender, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst, Cussing, Drama, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Drunkenness, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender Identification Issues, Gender Identity, Happy Ending, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, Misunderstandings, OOC, Out of Character, Prank Wars, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pre-Slash, Resolved Sexual Tension, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Trigender, Trigendered, drinking the pain away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4548303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fly_Kitty7000/pseuds/Fly_Kitty7000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The prank war between Spencer and Derek was fun, but neither really want it to continue.  Will they have the courage to face what they really want?  Or will a host of misunderstandings tear apart what they already have?</p><p>A/N: Spoilers for Season 7, Episode 4: "Painless"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who's Idea Was This Anyway?!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I know a lot of you are waiting for updates on my story "I Didn't Know I Was..." but I'm working on it, I promise! I already had some of this written, however, so I thought I would post it as consolation for your wait :) Anyway, this story takes place right after the prank war episode, "Painless" (Season 7, Episode 4), but it really only mentions it in the first chapter and I think there's enough details that you wouldn't have to be familiar with the episode to understand this story. Also, as always, I write Spencer shorter than Derek and with a higher voice than he has in the show, but if you don't like that, you can read him however you want (it won't affect the overall plot of the story)! Please leave kudos and comments and I hope you enjoy this story!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters therein. I just take them and do what I want with them (which is why they may read a little OOC even though I always try to keep each character's center, or what makes them the way they are, unless otherwise noted). If you don't like the story, please don't read it. All hateful comments or flames will be immediately deleted or marked as spam. I do, however, accept and welcome constructive criticism, opinions, and other comments as long as they are made in good taste. Thank you for reading and being respectful to me, as a human being, and my work in general. Please enjoy!

Derek Morgan laid down on his bed and heaved a great sigh. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to start a prank war with Spencer Reid? ‘ _Oh that's right’_ , he thought, ‘ _I did. What a genius_ I _am._ ’ He would have to remember to ask Garcia if she could fix his mp3 player for him.  
  
Derek had told Spencer that he would get him back for what he'd done on the jet. The thing was, though, Derek wasn't quite sure if he wanted to get back at or make up with Spencer. The only reason Derek had started this stupid war in the first place was so he would have an excuse to spend time around Spencer outside of work.  
  
Derek wasn't quite sure why he liked the kid so much. Over the years, he had just grown on Derek and lately, Spencer seemed to be all Derek could think about. It was beyond frustrating because Spencer was completely oblivious to all social cues and every time Derek had tried to get Spencer to spend time with him, Spencer either already had plans or wasn't feeling up to it. Thus, the idea of the prank war came to Derek as a last resort.  
  
Derek sighed again and shifted his position slightly, trying to get comfortable. It was Friday night, which meant that, unless something happened, he would have all weekend to decide whether to continue this war or think of something else to get Spencer's attention.

 

* * *

 

 Spencer Reid walked into his apartment, dropped his go-bag, messenger bag, and keys onto a small coffee table next to his door, and walked across the room to sit on his couch. He brought his hands up to his head and rubbed his temples. After he had pulled off his little screaming trick using Derek’s technology, he had felt a sort of smug pride at having one-upped his best friend/sometimes-nemesis. Now, however, he just felt depressed.

 

Spencer wanted attention from Derek Morgan, there was no doubt about that. And it wasn’t as if Derek hadn’t ever asked Spencer out on the town or anything. The only problem was that Spencer was never sure of Derek’s intentions. Did he want to go out as a friend? Did he want Spencer to be his wing-man so Derek could pick up women? Or did Derek want what Spencer wanted: to be in a romantic relationship (or at the very least go out on a date and see if there were any sparks).

 

Spencer sighed and slumped over on the couch, tightly hugging his middle and curling his legs up to his chest in the fetal position. He never had much hope that Derek would want to be with him. ‘ _I mean, why would he? I’m just a computer with a gangly toothpick body attached. What could a man like Derek Morgan ever see in me?’_ Spencer thought to himself. That was why every time Derek had asked him out somewhere, Spencer had said that he already had plans or he wasn’t feeling up to going out. Spencer was afraid that he would misread an outing with Derek and end up saying or doing something that would embarrass them both and irreparably damage their friendship. Unfortunately, Spencer wasn’t prepared to take that risk. It had taken him a long time to find true friends and he didn’t want to do anything to mess that up.

 

But then Derek had started this whole stupid prank war. At first, they were just stupid little jokes, such as Derek putting spring snakes in Spencer’s jar of jelly beans and Spencer putting whoopee cushions in Derek’s chairs. However, Derek had stepped up the challenge by giving Spencer’s phone number to the press while they were on a case. Even though he didn’t really want to, Spencer had _had_ to retaliate in an equal manner by messing up Derek’s mp3 player. And, Spencer had to admit, that joke had been pretty funny at the time. But now, Spencer was worrying about what Derek was going to do to get back at him. Whatever it was, it would probably happen Monday since Derek would have all weekend to think about what to do.

 

Spencer didn’t want this prank war to continue. Even though it was good-natured fighting, to Spencer, it was still fighting. And Spencer Reid, who did not like to fight in general, _especially_ did not like to fight with Derek Morgan. Yes, the prank war meant that Derek was paying more attention to Spencer, but the more Spencer thought about it, the more he realized that he would almost rather be ignored by Derek than have to deal with the stress the prank war was giving him.

 

Spencer took a shaky breath and realized that he was close to tears just thinking about what Monday might bring from Derek. He sat up, shook his head, and wiped his hands over his face. “You’re being stupid,” he said aloud to himself. Then he stood up and made his way to his bedroom, deciding not to worry about Monday or Derek and to just try to enjoy his weekend.


	2. The Seemingly Unattainable

Monday morning came and Derek woke up with a new sense of purpose. He had thought about Spencer, and what he wanted from him, all weekend and had finally decided what he wanted to do. However, as he made his way to the BAU offices, he realized he still didn’t know how he was going to pull off his plan. As he rode the elevator up in the FBI building, Derek pinched the bridge of his nose trying to relieve some of his frustration. If he hadn’t started that stupid prank war in the first place, his plan would have been fairly easy to conduct. As it was now, however, he had to figure out a way to get Spencer where he wanted him without Spencer thinking it was all just some big joke.

 

The elevator doors opened and Derek walked down the hall toward the bullpen. He wasn’t surprised to see Spencer already at his desk, working on casefiles, drinking coffee, and munching on jellybeans. “Good morning, pretty boy!” Derek said jovially, figuring he may as well start the day off as well as possible.

 

Spencer looked up from his work at Derek, a scowl of suspicion on his face. “Good morning,” he answered warily.

 

Derek noticed that Spencer’s muscles were tensed as if preparing to spring away if necessary. He chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t you trust me, kid?”

 

“Not particularly, no,” Spencer mumbled as he reached for more jellybeans.

 

Morgan laughed outright at that and sat down at his desk. It was located right next to Spencer’s desk with only a small aisle in between them. Because of this, Derek had the perfect vantage point to watch Spencer without the kid really catching on. Derek sighed. Spencer was already suspicious and expecting a retaliation from Derek. How in the Hell was he going to get Spencer to believe anything he said?

 

Spencer, who had heard Derek sigh, looked over at him, half-way confused, half-way concerned. “Um, Derek I was just kidding about not trusting you. I do trust you; I’m just kind of afraid to let my guard down, you know? It’s your turn to get me back and –”

 

“Spencer,” Derek interrupted, startled by Spencer’s explanation that had almost nothing to do with what Derek was thinking about. “I know you were kidding, pretty boy. I just wish I had never started this stupid prank war with you in the first place.”

 

Spencer, to Derek’s surprise, looked startled and then visibly drooped. “Oh,” he said quietly, looking at his feet. He then turned back around to his paperwork and didn’t say anything more.

 

Derek didn’t know what to make of Spencer’s reaction. Did Spencer _enjoy_ the prank war? Derek sighed again and decided to just let the matter drop. He had more important things to think about at the moment anyway.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer couldn’t deny that he was hurt when Derek had said that he wished he had never started the prank war in the first place. It wasn’t that Spencer liked the pranks; in fact, he himself had come to the conclusion that he wanted the prank war to end. But something about hearing Derek say that he wished he’d never started it in the first place made Spencer incredibly sad. ‘ _Does he regret the pranks or just spending time with me in general?_ ’ Spencer thought to himself.

 

Spencer sighed heavily and thought he caught Derek give him a concerned glance but Spencer just kept staring down at the work on his desk. He tried to concentrate on his work but all he could think about was Derek regretting spending time with him. After all, the pranks had made them both laugh and had taken a little pressure away from their everyday life. As Spencer had already admitted to himself, the pranks weren’t exactly the way he wanted to get attention from Derek, but it was better than nothing! Yes, on Friday, the thought had ran through Spencer’s head that he’d almost rather be ignored than have the stress of the pranks every day, but he was just lying to himself. Spencer didn’t know if he could go back to only casual interaction with Derek (and he definitely couldn’t handle being ignored by the man). But, if Derek stopped the pranks and didn’t initiate anything else, what else could Spencer do?

 

Spencer hated his insecurities. He had absolutely no confidence in himself, and as such, there was no way he could ever even imagine himself initiating contact with the hunky, sexy, chiseled, statuesque love machine that was Derek Morgan. Spencer continued to eat away at his jellybeans as he thought about his options. If Derek didn’t prank him back and didn’t initiate any further contact outside of work, Spencer could always keep pranking Derek until Derek got frustrated and did something in return. Of course that option could also end with Derek never speaking to Spencer again so he quickly threw that out the window.

 

Spencer could ask Derek out to a bar or club or something as a friend and then take it from there. But what if Derek ended up picking up a woman at the bar and left Spencer for her? After all, if they were just going as friends, Derek would have no obligation to stay with Spencer more than a few hours. Derek would probably think that Spencer was also trolling for women and so might even try to “help” Spencer improve his game. That was something that Spencer did _not_ need.

 

Spencer could always grow a pair and do something completely unexpected, like give Derek a lap dance in the middle of the bullpen, for example. Spencer blushed and had to hold back a giggle at just the thought of that, however. Again, he thought he saw Derek glance over his way, but Spencer steadfastly refused to look at the other agent.

 

Spencer reached into his candy jar but sighed when he realized he had eaten all of the jellybeans there. He picked up his coffee cup to drink, but realized that was empty as well. When had he finished that? Spencer shook himself, got up, and headed to the break room to refill his cup with coffee and clear his head. After all, he was here to work, not obsess over the unattainable.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek had thought it strange when Spencer seemed to retreat into his own head and do nothing but eat jellybeans, drink coffee, and stare at his desk for almost ten minutes. He wondered if anything was bothering the kid, but he was almost afraid to ask. ‘ _He might get mad or offended... or he might try to eat me,_ ’ Derek thought to himself as he watched Spencer shove whole handfuls of jellybeans into his mouth. Derek sniggered at the random thought in his head. He was amazed that the skinny kid could eat so much in one sitting without getting sick. Derek knew that Spencer had an infamous sweet tooth, but this was ridiculous! That jar was pretty big and Derek knew that it had been over half full when Spencer started his snack. ‘ _Or is this just what he considers breakfast?_ ’ Derek wondered, thinking that maybe he should start bringing Spencer breakfast sandwiches or something in the mornings.

 

Derek heard Spencer sigh and realized that he himself had been spacing out. He saw Spencer shake himself and head off to the break room with his coffee cup. Derek chuckled. That was _just_ what the kid needed: more caffeine and sugar.

 

God he really needed to stop thinking about Spencer. He had work to do! And plus, he still had to figure out how to get Spencer where he wanted him without Spencer getting suspicious. Lord, how he wished he would have just manned up and done it properly before he had the not-so-genius idea of playing pranks on the good doctor.


	3. Is That All I'm Good For?

Derek worked as diligently as he could manage until lunch. He was so distracted by the thought of Spencer and his own worries about how to convince Spencer he didn’t want to play pranks anymore that he didn’t notice Spencer get up from his desk, grab his messenger bag, and cautiously walk over toward Derek.

 

He thought he was going to have a heart attack when Spencer cleared his throat and touched Derek’s shoulder. “Holy shit!” Derek yelled and shot up off his seat.

 

Spencer yelped and jumped back. Unfortunately, when he landed, he tripped over his feet and fell backward. He hit the ground hard and it knocked the wind out of him.

 

“Oh my god, Spencer!” Derek exclaimed, running over to his fallen friend. “Are you ok?”

 

Spencer nodded, gasping for breath as Derek knelt down beside him.

 

“God, kid, I am so sorry!” Derek said, helping Spencer sit up. “You almost scared the piss out of me.”

 

“You?” Spencer asked incredulously, his voice slightly hoarse. “I almost jumped out of my skin!”

 

Derek smiled weakly and chuckled. “Well, we can’t have that. You’d look funny without any skin.”

 

Spencer’s eyebrows shot up and his eyes got wide. “Of course I’d look funny without skin, Derek. Not to mention I’d be dead.”

 

Derek laughed out loud and clapped Spencer on the back good-naturedly. “Come on, smart ass. Let’s get you to your feet.” Derek stood up and held a hand out to Spencer, offering help.

 

Spencer gladly took the offered hand and allowed Derek to pull him up. Luckily, in Spencer’s opinion, nearly everyone else had already gone to lunch so almost no one saw how big of a fool Spencer had made out of himself. ‘ _Except for Derek,’_ he thought bitterly as he averted his eyes, bit his bottom lip, and tried not to blush.

 

Derek allowed Spencer to catch his breath before he asked, “So, what did you want?”

 

“Huh?” Spencer asked, confused. His head shot up and he briefly met Derek’s eyes before he looked down once more.

 

“Well, I assume that you came over and scared me half to death for a reason, pretty boy,” Morgan said with a wide grin, laughter dancing in his eyes.

 

“Oh!” Spencer exclaimed and then blushed and chuckled. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to go get something to eat.”

 

Derek stiffened at Spencer’s invitation. It wasn’t that Derek _didn’t_ want to have lunch with Spencer (after all, it wasn’t as if it was the first time they’d gone to eat together). It was more that Derek was nervous that he would end up messing up lunch in some ridiculous way which would sway Spencer’s opinion of him and end things between them before they ever got started.

 

Spencer noticed Derek’s hesitation and bit his lower lip. “I-It’s ok, we don’t have to go together. I just thought I’d offer, but I can understand if you’re still upset with me over my last prank. I went too far. I’m really sorry. I’ll just leave you alone now.”

 

Spencer hung his head and started to walk away before Derek snapped out of not only his thoughts, but his shock at what Spencer had said. “Wait!” he said loudly, making Spencer turn back toward Derek, a slightly fearful look his eyes as if he thought that Derek was going to yell at him. Derek sighed and rubbed his hand over his head. “I’m sorry, Spencer. I wasn’t hesitating because I don’t want to go out to lunch with you. And I’m not mad at you for the prank, pretty boy. That was actually a really good come-back, now that I think of it.” Derek smiled fondly at the memory of Spencer pretending to be asleep and feigning innocence while Derek’s mp3 and phone both screamed loudly at him.

 

Spencer smiled slightly, but still looked confused. “Why did you look so shocked and hesitant when I asked you out to lunch, then?”

 

Derek’s smile faltered slightly, but he quickly recovered and answered, “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, pretty boy. But yes, I would love to get lunch with you.”

 

Spencer’s eyes widened at Derek’s wording. Derek saw Spencer’s reaction and quickly covered himself with, “Anything to get out of this place for an hour, right?” He laughed nervously but stopped when he saw Spencer droop once more. ‘ _Jeeze, this kid’s emotions are all over the place! I’m definitely going to screw this up._ ’

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer was astounded when Derek had said that he would _love_ to get lunch with him. ‘ _Does he think I asked him out on a date? Or is he making fun of me because he can tell that I_ want _to go out on a date with him?_ ’ Spencer didn’t know which was worse.

 

However, when Derek then said that anything was better than being at work, Spencer found himself incredibly disappointed. ‘ _Is that all I’m good for? A work distraction? Maybe I should have just gone to lunch by myself…_ ’

 

He saw that Derek was confused at the emotions playing over Spencer’s face, so Spencer mentally slapped himself and told himself that he was being stupid again and overthinking everything. He attempted a small smile and nodded his head. “Yeah, anything to make the stress go away for a while. Let’s get out of here.”


	4. What Have I Done?

Lunch with Spencer was every shade of awkward that existed. They had decided to just walk to a diner that was a couple blocks from the FBI building, but instead of the playful banter that usually went on between them, awkward silence filled the air.

 

The silence continued until after they both sat down and ordered their food. When the waitress walked away with their orders, Spencer cleared his throat and shyly asked, “So, how was your weekend?”

 

“It was… relaxing,” Derek answered with a slight smile on his face. Of course, what he said was a blatant lie. Derek had spent the whole weekend thinking and stressing, which was definitely _not_ relaxing.

 

“Oh, that’s good,” Spencer answered softly. He tapped his fingers against the table nervously and bit his bottom lip. “Mine was ok. I finished reading a set of medical journals.”

 

“Medical journals?” Derek asked with surprise. “What, are you abandoning us for med school or something?”

 

“No!” Spencer answered quickly and forcefully. He then blushed and cleared his throat before continuing softly. “I mean, no I would never abandon you – uh, the team, I mean.” Spencer bit his lip again and started bouncing his leg up and down, a sure sign of his extreme nerves.

 

Derek sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, mentally berating himself for making Spencer uncomfortable. ‘ _God, it seems like everything I say upsets the kid! I don’t know what to do!_ ’ Derek wasn’t angry at Spencer for being upset though. He was mad at himself for _causing_ those feelings within Spencer. How was this ever going to work if Derek couldn’t even have a normal conversation with Spencer? Why was it so much harder now than it used to be? ‘ _Because you decided to make things awkward by starting a prank war instead of just kissing him like you wanted to do in the first place, you idiot_ ,’ his mind answered, much to Derek’s displeasure.

 

Derek took a deep breath and tried to relieve some of the tension between them. “I’m sorry, Spencer. I was trying to make a joke. Anyway, why were you reading medical journals? Just for fun or what?”

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer looked up briefly to make sure that Derek was seriously asking and not just trying to be funny again before he pushed his hair behind his ears and softly answered. “I’m actually writing a paper about the psychological impacts of certain diseases and medical problems. It’s amazing how many non-neurological problems cause personality changes and other psychological side-effects. I mean, a person would think that only neurological problems would cause psychological changes, but that isn’t the case! In my research I’ve actually found –”

 

Spencer stopped himself in mid-explanation however, remembering that really no one shared his interests. ‘ _Probably no one really enjoys me speaking in general, at least outside of work. I mean, my knowledge is usually helpful during cases, but I really have nothing to say that would interest anyone socially._ ’ “I’m sorry for rambling,” he finally said softly, again biting his lip and looking down at the table as if it were the most interesting thing in the universe. He really just wished the waitress would bring their food so he could eat and then escape this situation.

 

“Spencer,” Derek said patiently, dipping his head to try to meet Spencer’s eyes even though Spencer refused to look his way. “You know the only reason we stop you from rambling on most of the time is because we’re usually in the middle of cases and we just need the Reader’s Digest version of information. It isn’t because we’re not interested in what you have to say.”

 

Spencer smiled slightly, but he didn’t really believe Derek or any other member of the team who had ever told him something similar (and they all _had_ at one point in time over the years). No one had ever wanted to hear him talk before and, even though he was closer to his BAU family than he had ever been to anyone, outside his mother, in his life, Spencer still couldn’t make himself believe that they weren’t just putting up with him because he was, most of the time, helpful to their cases.

 

Spencer was saved from saying anything more on the subject by the waitress bringing their food. ‘ _Finally! I feel like I’ve been here for hours!’_ Spencer checked his watch just to make sure and was surprised that they had only been waiting 13 minutes, 27 seconds.

 

The rest of lunch passed by silently because Spencer didn’t really know how to start a social conversation and it looked as if Derek was having the same problem for some reason. Spencer had never known Derek to be awkward in public, so Spencer reached the conclusion that it must be _him_ making Derek uncomfortable. Spencer groaned inwardly, barely catching it before it left his lips, as he thought over everything he had done and said. It _had_ to have been something he did because Derek was _never_ socially uncomfortable. ‘ _God, I can’t do anything right! There’s no way that I could ever ask him on a date now; not after I’ve made him so uncomfortable!_ ’

 

Spencer only ate about half of his food before he decided he was done. He was so upset that he honestly thought he might be sick if he ate any more. Eating almost a whole jar of jelly beans earlier probably didn’t help his stomach either, but he decided to try not to think about food of any kind because all that was doing was making him more and more nauseous.

 

Derek finished his food not long after and they both got up and paid their bills separately before heading out the door. The walk back to the FBI building was just as uncomfortable and awkward as the walk to the diner had been and Spencer decided that he was definitely going to head to the men’s room and throw up as soon as they got to the bullpen. ‘ _Maybe it’s better if nothing happens between Derek and me if I get sick just from having an awkward lunch with him. I was stupid. Why did I ever want to change our easygoing friendship? Now we’re both uncomfortable and it’s all my fault. What have I done?_ ’


	5. Hoping for the Impossible

Derek sighed as he walked back to his desk in the bullpen. He vaguely noticed Spencer heading to the bathroom instead of his own desk. ‘ _God, that was awkward,’_ he thought to himself. ‘ _How am I ever going to pull off my plan now? Even if I summon up the courage to ask him, he probably wouldn’t want to after all that anyway.’_

 

He laid his forehead down on his desk and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. After all, he was at work so he needed to be able to concentrate on work for at least a few hours before he could focus on anything else.

 

Before he could lift his head up and get back to his paperwork, Emily Prentiss walked in the bullpen, returning from her own lunch, and saw him. “Hey, Morgan, you ok?”

 

He raised his head and gave her a small smile. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

 

Emily scrunched her eyebrows in slight concern and confusion. “No, you’re not. You look like your puppy ran away! Come on, spill your guts.”

 

Derek gave a slight chuckle but then looked around to make sure that Spencer hadn’t returned from the bathroom yet. Then he mumbled, “I just had a really uncomfortable lunch.” He shook his head slowly and then rubbed his hand over his head. “It was all my fault. I somehow just made everything awkward and I’m just kinda bummed out now.”

 

“That sucks man,” Emily responded sympathetically. She definitely knew what _that_ was like. Though somehow, she couldn’t seem to imagine Derek ever being uncomfortable. “Who did you have lunch with? I mean, can’t you just apologize and try again?”

 

Derek glanced at Emily but quickly looked back to his desk. He wasn’t sure whether he should tell her he’d had lunch with Spencer or not. What would she think about his feelings for their coworker? Would Spencer be embarrassed that he told her about their slightly painful lunch? He decided to just ignore her first question and answer the second and hope that she didn’t notice. “I’m going to try to apologize and hopefully we can try again. But that doesn’t stop me from being bummed at the moment.”

 

“True that,” Emily said earnestly and then clapped him on the shoulder. “Well good luck with that and be sure to let me know how it goes!”

 

“Thanks Emily,” he answered with a smile. She then walked to her own desk and Derek reached over to his pile of work, opened a file, and continued the work he’d started before lunch.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer came out of the bathroom and saw Emily with her hand on Derek’s shoulder. They were both smiling and Spencer felt a knot of tension start to appear in his stomach. ‘ _What the Hell is going on?’_ he asked himself incredulously. There couldn’t be anything between Derek and Emily! There just couldn’t! ‘ _Maybe that’s why he was so uncomfortable during lunch,’_ a traitorous voice in Spencer’s head told him. ‘ _Maybe he knows about your feelings for him and he wanted to let you down easy but you made things so awkward that he just couldn’t do it.’_ Spencer felt tears well up in his eyes and he reached up to rub them violently. ‘ _You’re being stupid again!’_ he told himself forcefully.

 

He decided then and there he wasn’t going to think about Derek for the rest of the work day. He needed to finish his paperwork and sulking over something he couldn’t have just wasn’t conducive to a productive work day. He would probably need to stay longer than he normally would as it was now anyway.

 

He walked back to his desk and sat down, not looking in either Derek’s or Emily’s direction. If they had something going on between them, then he wasn’t going to pay either of them any attention.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek noticed Spencer heading back to his desk from the bathroom, but was more disheartened than ever when he saw Spencer pointedly ignoring everyone. Derek sighed and knew that he wasn’t going to get much work done until he decided how to fix this situation. Even if Spencer wasn’t interested in having a relationship with Derek, Derek didn’t want to lose the friendship that they had built between them. Spencer was his best friend and he really didn’t want to mess that up.

 

Hours passed as Derek halfheartedly worked on his files, moving through them slower than ever. It was reaching the end of the work day and he still hadn’t made it even half-way through! He was definitely either going to have to work overtime or take some of the files home with him.

 

Feeling restless, Derek stood up and stretched, deciding to take a little break to get himself some coffee. However, as soon as he thought of coffee, his mind jumped to Spencer. Maybe _he_ would like some coffee too? Should he dare to ask him?

 

Derek rubbed his hands over his face and wondered when he had become such a coward. “Hey, pretty boy,” he finally called out, his voice a little higher than normal. He cleared his throat and stuck a smile on his face. “Do you want some coffee? Or have you had your limit for today?”

 

Spencer looked over to Derek for the first time since lunch and blinked his eyes a few times as if trying to come back to reality from whatever world he had just been in. A small smile formed on his lips and he softly answered, “I don’t think I have a coffee limit, Derek, but you don’t have to get me any.”

 

Derek’s smile grew at the honest answer, glad that Spencer was talking to him at all. “It’s no problem, kid!” he exclaimed and then reached over to pat Spencer on the shoulder. “One cup of sugar with a little coffee in it, coming right up!”

 

Spencer’s smile turned to a frown and he mock-glared at Derek. “I do _not_ put that much sugar in my coffee, thank you very much,” he answered haughtily.

 

“Sure you don’t,” Derek laughed out and squeezed Spencer’s shoulder. He then turned toward the break room, just a little lighter on his feet.

 

* * *

 

 

When Derek squeezed Spencer’s shoulder, Spencer’s eyes grew wide. ‘ _Why is he touching me like that?’_ he thought to himself in shock. He was honestly surprised that Derek was even _talking_ to him, let alone touching him and offering to make him coffee. ‘ _Maybe he feels bad for lunch?’_ he asked himself as he bit his lip in nervousness and confusion. ‘ _But why would_ he _feel bad? It was all my fault!’_

 

Spencer just sighed and turned back to his paperwork. He was almost done his stack, but was still discouraged by it. On a normal day, he’d have had it done hours ago and would now be working on Derek’s and Emily’s paperwork. Maybe he’d just leave and take the rest home with him. ‘ _Derek’s making you coffee! You have to stay!’_ a voice yelled at him from inside his head. ‘ _Maybe he really_ does _like you and forgives you for lunch!’_

 

A small bubble of hope filled Spencer at that thought, but he fought to keep it down. There was no way that Derek liked him like that. No way! And he couldn’t allow himself to hope like that because the letdown would be more than he could handle. No, Derek was just being friendly. Derek often got him coffee throughout the day. There was nothing to read into the action. Period.

 

‘ _I really need to stop concentrating on things other than work,’_ he thought sadly as he opened one of his last files. ‘ _Nothing good ever comes from hoping for the impossible.’_


	6. Little Paper Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Quick little chapter for you (and yes, I know I'm evil). I hope you enjoy it and continue to leave me comments and kudos!

The end of the work day was quickly approaching and Derek still hadn’t decided what the best way to approach Spencer could possibly be. After all the awkwardness from earlier, he just couldn’t bring himself to go directly up to Spencer and ask him out! Spencer would probably laugh in Derek’s face! Or worse, think it was a veiled prank or joke meant to embarrass him if he took it seriously.

 

Derek sighed and shook his head, berating himself for being stupid and cowardly. This was Spencer after all! Nothing to be afraid of! So why was he still shaking in his shoes? Why did the thought of Spencer rejecting him or laughing at him feel like a knife through his heart? What was so special about that skinny nerd with floppy hair and outdated clothes?! The answer came to Derek almost immediately: Everything. That’s why he was so afraid. Spencer was _everything_ and Derek just couldn’t lose that.

 

But he had to do _something_!! He couldn’t just sit here at his desk while everything fell to pieces! If he confronted Spencer, he could lose everything he found dear and important to him. But, if he ignored his feelings, there was a good chance his friendship with Spencer would fall apart anyway because of the awkwardness it would create. Hell, things were _already_ becoming awkward between them and it had only been a few days since Derek had decided to finally admit his love to Spencer!

 

God, he needed to get a grip! Derek had never been like this before! Oh man, his mother and sisters would laugh so hard if they could see him right now… They’d never believe it! He chuckled to himself, but then sighed again, long and deep. What the Hell was he going to do?!

 

“Alright everyone, go home and get some rest,” Hotch called as he stepped out of his office, startling Derek out of his musings. He glanced at his watch and sure enough, it was already after 5pm and Derek hadn’t completed even half of his casefiles for the day!

 

‘ _It’s going to be a long night,’_ Derek said to himself as he groaned inwardly, starting to pack up the unfinished work to take home with him. He knew he was letting his best chance of talking with Spencer slip out of hands, but, much to Derek’s embarrassment, he just couldn’t muster up the courage.

 

But he _had_ to do something, didn’t he? He’d barely made it through today without losing his mind! ‘ _Think, Derek! Think!’_ he commanded himself, hoping to break his mind out of whatever stupor that Spencer seemed to have put him in.

 

‘ _What about a letter?’_ he thought suddenly, a small grin appearing on his face. ‘ _I could write him a note asking him to meet me somewhere!’_

 

Derek quickly got out a scrap piece of paper and a pen while trying to think about what he could possibly write. He eventually settled for:

 

_Pretty Boy,_

_I have something I want to tell you. Meet me at Fairdale Park at the picnic table right next to the lake tonight at 8:30. I’m being serious about this. Please._

_Thanks and See you There,_

_Derek M._

 

He read over his work a couple times before deciding that it was very cryptic and just a little creepy. God, what was he thinking?! Spencer would never fall for something like this! And he couldn’t believe that he was reduced to the point of writing a _letter_ to the man sitting just across the aisle from him!

 

Angry at himself, Derek growled slightly and crumpled the note into a ball, intending to throw it directly in the trash. However, as he stood up from his desk, he hesitated. Maybe he really _should_ give Spencer the note… after all, Derek was apparently too chicken to do anything _else_ about the matter!

 

Anger gripped him once more and he spun around to stalk toward the glass doors of the BAU offices. Suddenly noticing that he still had the paper in his hands, he squeezed it into a tighter ball, and threw it directly over his shoulder, too irritated to even make sure that the toss had been true and the note had landed in the trash.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer sighed and was relieved to finally be packing up for the day. For some reason, it felt like he’d been in the office for _days_ , this particular Monday stretching on into infinity. ‘ _It’s probably the stress and awkwardness you created,’_ the nasty voice in his head provided.

 

Spencer groaned and was about to berate himself for dwelling on what he currently couldn’t change when he felt something hit the back of his head. He startled and whirled around, wondering if someone had thrown something at him. Sure enough, when he looked down at the floor, he found a piece of paper crumpled into a ball.

 

Spencer looked back up and around him, but it seemed that everyone else had already high-tailed it out of the offices. In fact, the only other person he saw was Derek, who was almost sprinting toward the doors. Spencer entertained the thought of calling out to Derek and asking him over for dinner, but then he remembered what an awkward lunch they’d had and thought better of it… that and Spencer really couldn’t cook and even if he could, he really had no food in his house that was especially edible at the moment. That in itself was awkward enough!

 

Spencer sighed and looked back down, his eyes drawn again to the paper ball on the floor. He bent over and picked it up, examining it from all angles before carefully unfolding it and smoothing it out on his desk.

 

What he saw momentarily took his breath away. It was addressed to him! His eyes scanned over the rest of the words and he gasped.

 

_Pretty Boy,_

_I have something I want to tell you. Meet me at Fairdale Park at the picnic table right next to the lake tonight at 8:30. I’m being serious about this. Please._

_Thanks and See you There,_

_Derek M._

 

Spencer blinked a few times before leaning back in his chair heavily. This _had_ to be some sort of mistake… Derek couldn’t possibly want to meet with him! Could he?

 

Spencer turned toward the door again, hoping to catch Derek standing there and looking at him pointedly or something, but there was no one there. Nearly the whole office was deserted! ‘ _Jeeze, the boss comes out and says go home and everyone scampers like they’re afraid he’ll take it back or something!’_ Spencer chuckled to himself a little at the mental image of Hotch all of a sudden shouting “April Fools!” and telling them to get back to work.

 

Then he looked back at the note on his desk and the smile was wiped off of his face. What if this note _was_ real? What could Derek want to meet him for? What could he have to tell him that he couldn’t do in the office? ‘ _Maybe he likes you,’_ Spencer allowed himself to hope, a small blush creeping into his cheeks.

 

The snide voice in his head wanted to argue that Spencer’s thought couldn’t be right, but Spencer wouldn’t let it. For once, he was going to let hope build a little nest in his chest; a bright star to help chase away the fears and worry over losing his best friend. For just this once, Spencer was going to look forward to something and have hope that his friendship wasn’t ending, but was in fact taking the next step toward something even _more_ beautiful.

 

Before he knew it, a wide smile had taken up a place on Spencer’s face and he was absolutely giddy with excitement! Well, if he had plans tonight, he was certainly not going to spend any more time in the office! Spencer grabbed his coat and messenger bag, turned toward the door, and walked out with a new spring in his step.


	7. Have Fun With Your Dog

Spencer rushed home, his smile never wavering from his face. He was going to meet up with Derek tonight! He didn’t know what would come after that, but he was excited all the same. ‘ _What should I wear?’_ he wondered as he walked up the steps leading to his apartment. ‘ _Should I dress up? Or casual? What about my hair?’_

 

Spencer stopped when he got inside of his apartment, giggling slightly at how… well… _girly_ he sounded! ‘ _Maybe that’s a good thing, though_ ,’ he concluded with a smirk. Yes, he was biologically male, but psychologically, he’d never really identified with one gender or the other. Some days, he felt masculine… other days, he felt more feminine. There were also quite a few days where he felt like both or neither. That’s why, when he came across the word “trigender” a few years ago, he knew that it described him to a T.

 

He’d never told anyone, not even his mother, about his gender identity. He just didn’t see how that information was pertinent to anything. Plus, he liked his team and he didn’t want their view of him to change because of something like that. He vaguely wondered if Derek would mind… if Derek liked him, would he be ok with Spencer being trigendered? Spencer sure hoped so…

 

He finally decided to go somewhat casual but still try to look nice. Spencer picked out a pair of dark blue jeans, a forest green Polo shirt, and a white and blue striped scarf. Then he wondered if maybe that was _too_ casual… He returned the clothes, except for the scarf, to the closet and picked out black slacks and a white button-up shirt. A little less casual, but a little more comfortable for Spencer since he was used to dressing up all day, every day.

 

Spencer then took a quick shower, but decided not to eat anything in case Derek had planned on grabbing a late dinner or something. Or maybe he _should_ eat so that he didn’t look like such a pig when he ate with Derek… But what if Derek _wanted_ him to eat and Spencer ended up getting sick?!

 

‘ _Stop worrying, stupid!’_ he yelled at himself, taking deep breaths so that he wouldn’t hyperventilate. If he worried about something so simple, he would just end up making everything awkward like he had during lunch (and that was something he _definitely_ didn’t want to do).

 

He pulled his hair back into a little pony tail at the base of his neck, but a minute later, took it back down. He went to make some coffee, hoping that a cup or two would help calm his nerves and fill his stomach a little so that, if Derek _didn’t_ want to go to dinner, Spencer’s stomach wouldn’t be grumbling all night.

 

Spencer pulled his hair back up into a pony tail, but then took it down again, worried that he didn’t look good either way. He sighed and looked at the clock on the wall… and then groaned aloud when he saw it was only 6:30. He had to wait another two hours?! How the Hell was he going to do that without going completely crazy?

 

* * *

 

 

Derek sat on his couch in his living room, his feet propped up on the coffee table, a box of pizza to his right, and Clooney to his left. He was watching a Bears game, which usually more than kept his attention, but at the moment, all he could think about was what he’d been thinking about all day: Spencer.

 

He groaned aloud and went to grab another slice of pizza out of the box, Clooney looking up toward him expectantly, but then drooping when Derek paid him no mind. Derek took a bite of the pizza but really didn’t pay attention to it as he thought about how he’d missed his chance to say something to Spencer today. Why hadn’t he said anything? Why was he being such a wuss about all this?!

 

Derek jumped when Clooney licked his hand, offering support for whatever was obviously ailing his master. Derek smiled slightly and began to pet the dog, occasionally scratching behind his ears. “Good boy,” Derek soothed as he leaned his own head back against the couch and closed his eyes. “What am I gonna do, Clooney? I should have just given Spencer the note I wrote… No, I should have just _talked_ to him… What is wrong with me?”

 

Derek sighed and shook his head, trying to get his mind off of the problem so he could actually _think_. All worrying was doing was giving him an ulcer and a headache.

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer nervously walked through Fairdale Park toward the lake. He was early, he knew (it was only 7:45), but he couldn’t wait at home any longer. He thought maybe some fresh air would help him clear his head and ease his nerves, but so far, he still felt like he had a wriggling monster in his stomach that was trying to force its way out.

 

He had brought a few books with him in his messenger bag to occupy his wait, but he had no idea if he was going to be able concentrate long enough to even get through _one_. He was trying to regulate his breathing so he wouldn’t sweat or pant… or pass out.

 

Spencer sighed as he reached the picnic table right next to the lake. He sat down and looked out over the water, smiling slightly at the beauty. The location gave him the perfect view of the sunset and, funnily enough, that’s what calmed him down. Seeing the setting sun cast a red glow over the softly rippling water just put his mind at ease. He just knew that, whatever happened, no matter what Derek had to tell him, everything would be alright.

 

* * *

 

 

The clock struck 8:00 in Derek’s living room and he suddenly felt very uneasy. He _should_ have been meeting Spencer in the park in 30 minutes… too bad Derek was too much of a _COWARD_ to actually ask the man of his dreams out.

 

‘ _You could always just call him!’_ he shouted at himself as he put his hands over his face. But what would he say? Hey pretty boy, want to go out with me? Or maybe, hey Spencer, I think I love you? No, neither of those would work… Spencer probably wouldn’t understand what he was asking in the first instance… and he would probably run away in fear in the second!

 

Derek sighed and ran his hands down his face before opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. In reality, no matter what Derek did, his friendship with Spencer was on the line. It had taken years for them to become so comfortable around each other and in just one day, everything had been shot to Hell!

 

So, Derek could either pretend like his feelings never existed and possibly lose Spencer’s friendship through awkward confrontations and mistakes… or he could tell Spencer about his feelings and possibly lose his friendship through rejection. The possibility that Spencer might return Derek’s feelings, and Derek confessing his feelings would start some sort of relationship between them, didn’t matter. What mattered was whether taking the chance was worth the risk… and Derek honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

 

* * *

 

 

8:30 came and went and Spencer was still sitting at the picnic table next to the lake. He had tried reading some of the books he had brought with him, but, just as he’d feared, he was too anxious to concentrate on them. He started bouncing his leg and wringing his hands together with nervous energy and he couldn’t help but check his watch every few minutes or so.

 

When 9:00 came, Spencer started to get worried. Where was Derek? Was Spencer in the wrong place? Derek had said the table closest to the lake and that’s where Spencer was. Maybe he was on the wrong side of the lake? No, the other side wasn’t part of the park and Derek had said to meet in Fairdale Park.

 

What if something had happened to Derek? What if he hadn’t come yet because he’d been in an accident or something?! Spencer started to panic at just the thought so he quickly whipped his phone out and dialed Derek, determined to quell his fears and reassure himself that Derek was ok and just running late.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek heard his phone ring so he picked it up off the coffee table and looked at the ID. He smiled when he saw that it was Spencer calling him. However, his smile quickly faded when he realized he had no idea what to say to Spencer! Why was Spencer calling him anyway?!

 

Derek took a deep breath and put a smile on his face, determined to not sound worried or depressed when he answered the phone. “Hey, pretty boy! What’s going on?” There was silence on the other end of the phone, so Derek said, “Kid? You there?”

 

“ _Derek?”_ he heard Spencer ask in a hesitant voice that sounded somewhat confused. “ _A-Are you ok?”_

 

Derek mentally swore, certain that his voice had given away his stress and nerves. “Yeah, I’m fine!” he exclaimed in an overly cheerful voice, determined to correct his previous mistake.

 

“ _W-Where… um… where a-are you?”_ Spencer asked in a small, somewhat shaky voice that concerned Derek a little.

 

“I’m at home lounging with Clooney,” Derek answered, not really understanding Spencer’s line of thought but going with it anyway. “What about you? Got any plans tonight?”

 

There was a small pause before Spencer replied and when he did, his voice was cold and hard. “ _No, Derek, I have absolutely nothing planned. I hope you have a good night with your dog.”_

 

Then Derek heard a beep as the call was disconnected. He brought the phone down from his ear and stared at it, wondering what the Hell he had said to make Spencer so angry… Derek sighed and decided to just leave it and go to bed. Hopefully Spencer would be in a better mood tomorrow.


	8. I Should Have Known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. This chapter is kinda short, but I wanted to get something out so you all wouldn't think that I had abandoned the story or died or anything lol... Hope you like it and as always, I love getting comments!

Penelope Garcia yawned and looked at the clock. “10:00… guess I better head to bed,” she said aloud to herself as she stretched and stood up from the couch in her apartment. Then she chuckled and shook her head. “When did I become such an old lady?! Before I joined the FBI, I _never_ went to bed this early!”

 

However, as soon as she began to clean up her things and prepare to head back to her bedroom, a slow, unsteady and slightly hesitant knock sounded on her door. She whipped around to stare at the door in confusion. Who on Earth would be visiting at this hour?! After a moment though, she shrugged and went to answer the strange knock.

 

What she saw on the other side of the door completely shocked her. “Reid?” she asked incredulously, taking in his slightly disheveled appearance, pink tinged cheeks, and bloodshot eyes. “Are you drunk?!”

 

Spencer snorted out a laugh and wobbled precariously on his feet. He reached out a hand and placed it on Garcia’s shoulder to steady himself before answering, “Maybe a little.”

 

Garcia’s eyes grew wide at Spencer’s words. What was going on? Spencer _never_ got drunk! Like _ever_! Hell, from what she knew, he hardly ever drank at _all_! Most of the time, he volunteered to be the designated driver when the team went out to bars or clubs together… but now here he was… on her doorstep… and definitely more than just a _little_ drunk!

 

Before she had a chance to wonder any more about it, though, Spencer burst out crying, almost falling forward into Garcia with the force of his uncontrollable sobs.

 

Garcia immediately threw her arms around Spencer and began to comfort him as best as she could while continually trying to lead him into the apartment and close the door behind them. “Shhh, hunny, it’s ok! It’s alright. Come in and tell Mama all about it!”

 

Garcia finally maneuvered them both over to her couch without letting Spencer out of her embrace, all the while rubbing his back and speaking words of comfort to him. He eventually calmed down enough to pull away and stare into Garcia’s eyes as best as he could. Garcia personally thought that it would be a miracle if Spencer saw _anything_ clearly at the moment…

 

“I’m sorry,” Spencer slurred out in a hoarse whisper as he sniffled loudly and wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeves. “I just… I j-just d-d-didn’t know who else t-to go to…”

 

“Sweetie, you are _always_ welcome here, night or day,” Garcia said adamantly, reaching out to grip his shoulders with her hands in order to give him something to ground himself with. He looked like he could pass out at any second… or throw up… she hoped to _God_ that he wouldn’t throw up all over her… or her couch… she really loved that couch…

 

“Thanks,” Spencer answered as he moved his gaze down to his lap and hugged his arms around himself. He took a couple deep breaths to better calm himself, but then his lip trembled and tears once again formed in his eyes and flowed down his face. “I sh-shouldn’t have believed him,” he started out in a soft voice, his words quavering and thick with emotion. “I sh-should have kn-known… but I wa-wanted to believe h-he was being s-serious! I-It’s all my fault… I should’ve known…”

 

“Hunny, it’s ok,” Garcia said slowly and clearly, noticing that Spencer’s words were becoming more and more slurred together the longer he talked. “I’m sure that none of whatever happened was your fault.”

 

Spencer just shook his head and wrapped his arms tighter around himself. “I should have known,” he moaned out as a fresh wave of sobs began to wrack his body.

 

“Should have known what? What happened, sweetie pie?” Garcia asked, beginning to grow extremely worried about her friend and his current state of mind. The whole team knew that Spencer didn’t handle emotional issues very well and, at the moment, he was showing more emotions than Garcia even knew he _had_!

 

In response to Garcia’s questions, Spencer just shook his head again and extended his right arm out toward her. She looked down and noticed for the first time that he was clutching something in his hand, so she reached out and gently took it from him. It was a balled-up piece of paper that was slightly damp, whether from sweaty hands or tears, Garcia didn’t know. Wondering what in the world could upset Spencer so badly, she eagerly unfolded the paper to read what was written there… and immediately felt a white-hot rage rush over her.

 

Garcia grit her teeth together and, with shaking hands, carefully folded the paper up and put it back in Spencer’s hand. She then took a deep breath and forced her voice to be calm as she said, “Reid, sweetie, I’m going to step into my bedroom for a moment, but I’ll be right back, ok? Don’t leave. Make yourself at home. Watch TV or whatever… but don’t leave.”

 

Spencer stayed silent as he brought his arm back around himself. He nodded stiffly to show that he heard and understood what Garcia had said, but he didn’t look up at her.

 

Garcia patted Spencer’s shoulder a few times before she got up off her couch, grabbed her cell phone from the end table, and headed for her bedroom. Someone was going to pay for upsetting her mentally fragile baby genius… and Garcia knew exactly who that bad boy was… and he was going to get her boot up his dark, shapely ass!

 

* * *

 

 

Derek groaned as he woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He turned on his side and blindly groped around on his nightstand, refusing to open his eyes until he knew if it was an emergency or not.

 

Finally finding the phone, Derek pushed the talk button, not needing to see it to know where it was, and put the device up to his ear. “Morgan,” he answered sleepily.

 

_“You insensitive bastard!”_ a rather high-pitched voice screeched out at him, causing him to jump and immediately sit up straight in bed.

 

Derek blinked a few times and cleared his throat, surprised at the sudden, and apparently out-of-the-blue, insult. “Garcia? Wh-What –”

 

_“Don’t you ‘Garcia’ me, you unfeeling son of a bitch!”_ Garcia practically yelled at him, anger dripping from her every word. _“How could you do that to him?! You_ know _how emotionally fragile he is! You’ve completely crushed him with your stupid little prank! I just can’t believe that you could be so heartless, you… you… MEANIE!”_

 

“Baby girl, stop! Calm down –”

 

_“Calm down?!”_ she howled incredulously, once again interrupting Derek mid-sentence. _“How do you expect me to calm down?! This isn’t just something that I can calm down from! Spencer Reid is sitting out on my couch completely shit-faced and crying his eyes out because of your total lack of goodness! How could you go over to the dark side like that and make our poor genius suffer for your sick amusement?! I just can’t_ believe _–”_

 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Derek interrupted this time, already hopping out of bed and switching on his bedroom lights. “Spencer is at your place crying over me? What the Hell did I do?!”

 

_“Oh don’t act all innocent, you… bad person, you!”_ Garcia answered skeptically, obviously not believing that Derek had no idea what was going on. _“You know exactly what you did, giving him that note to meet you and then not showing up. He clearly thought that it was a date and you were going to confess your completely obvious love for him… and what did you do? You stood him up! Pranking him is one thing, but crushing all of his hopes and dreams is totally unacceptable!”_

 

Derek felt like his heart had stopped. His eyes grew wide, his mouth went dry, and he found himself thrown into complete shock at Garcia’s words. How had Spencer gotten that note? Hadn’t Derek thrown it away? He wracked his brain, trying to remember what he’d done with that accursed note… and then all the air rushed out of him and he felt like icy hands were closing around his lungs, suffocating him from the inside. He’d thrown the note behind him. He’d aimed for the trashcan, but it had obviously gone somewhere completely unplanned. Near Spencer’s chair? On Spencer’s desk? Oh God… what had he done?!

 

Suddenly, Derek found himself running out into the living room, still wearing his pajama pants and a T-shirt, to gather his keys and license. “Baby girl, this has all been a _huge_ misunderstanding! Please, for the love of all things holy, keep him there! I’m leaving now and I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” He then hung up before Garcia could answer, grabbed his necessities, and ran out of his front door, leaving the lights on, and a very confused Clooney, behind him.

 

As he got into the driver’s seat and started his truck, Derek prayed harder than he had ever prayed before, hoping against hope that he could somehow fix this mess he’d gotten himself into… and just praying that his relationship with Spencer wasn’t broken beyond repair.


	9. Do I Make Myself Clear?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello avid readers! Lol there was going to be more to this chapter but it just ended up too long so I divided it. Unfortunately, the logical break happened sorta earlier than I'd hoped so this chapter ended up being shorter than I'd planned... however the next chapter is longer so you have something to look forward to (especially since this chapter is kinda angsty)! I hope you enjoy this and, as always, I love comments, suggestions, and constructive criticism :)

When Garcia walked back out into the living room to sit with Spencer, she was again shocked by what she saw. Spencer was still sitting on the couch, but in his hand was a half-empty bottle of bourbon, from which he was taking large swigs every so often.

 

Garcia sighed, went over to Spencer, and put her hands on her hips as she looked down at him. “Where did you get that, Reid?”

 

Spencer slowly looked up at Garcia, his eyes glazed and unfocused, assuring Garcia that he had been drinking the whole time she was back in her bedroom on the phone. “Huh?” he asked as he tried to comprehend what was going on.

 

Garcia sighed again and reached out to take the bottle from him, but, with reflexes faster than she thought possible at the moment, Spencer jerked the bottle away from her hand and put it up to his lips. “Reid, you need to stop,” Garcia almost pleaded as Spencer took a long drink. “Where did you get that bottle?”

 

“Brought it from home,” Spencer slurred and leaned back into the couch. He laid his head on the cushions and stared at the ceiling as he breathed heavily and sniffed a few times. “Did I ever tell you that my dad used to play tricks on me too?”

 

Garcia closed her eyes momentarily and a pained expression crossed her face. Any time Spencer ever talked about his father, it was never a good story. She took a deep, steadying breath and then moved to sit down next to Spencer, offering him comfort by putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing slightly.

 

“Before I learned not to trust him, he’d do things like ask me if I wanted to play hide and seek… but he would never come find me,” Spencer said quietly. At least, that’s what Garcia thought he said; his words were so slurred together by this point that she had to concentrate hard to understand his words. “One time, I hid in a closet and… he must have followed me because when I tried to leave… the door was locked… I was stuck in there for hours… when he came to get me, I was crying… he told me to stop being such a baby and grow up…”

 

“Oh, honey bear!” Garcia exclaimed and leaned forward to pull Spencer into a hug. Silent tears were running down his cheeks and she could tell that he was just moments away from breaking down into sobs again. “I’m so sorry that these horrible things have happened to you… but please believe me when I say that the people in your life right now wouldn’t do things like that to you.”

 

Spencer pulled away and stared at Garcia with a look of disbelief on his face. “How can you say that?!” he almost yelled, his voice pitched an octave higher than normal and breaking on every other word. “After what Derek did? I can’t – I just – I don’t even know what to think anymore!”

 

Sure enough, just as Garcia had predicted, right after Spencer finished his mini-rant, he burst into tears and sobbed loudly where he sat.

 

Garcia reached out and took his hand. She held it tightly and didn’t let go when he tried to pull away. “I know it seems terrible right now, baby boy,” she said, her own voice breaking slightly as she too was overcome with emotion. “But I also know that everything is going to be ok.”

 

Spencer didn’t answer; he just stared down at his knees and sobbed.

 

Garcia sighed once more and reached out to brush Spencer’s hair out of his face. “You look exhausted, sweetie pie,” she said softly as she stood from the couch. “Why don’t you lay down and get some rest.”

 

Garcia gently pushed Spencer back so he was laying down and helped him get comfortable. She then left the room momentarily to grab a blanket and when she returned, her heart broke to see that Spencer had turned on his side and brought his knees tightly up to his chest while he bowed his head down, making himself as small as possible. Garcia took a deep breath and laid the blanket over him, silently cursing Derek every minute that he didn’t arrive to fix what he had so obviously broken.

 

* * *

 

 

Derek was out of breath and panting by the time he finally made it to Garcia’s place. He had run in a dead sprint up the steps to her fifth floor apartment, too impatient and worried to wait for the elevator. Even though he considered himself in extremely good shape, he clearly needed to spend more time on the stair-stepping machine at the gym and made a mental note to do so.

 

He knocked on the door and it was almost immediately opened, revealing a very angry-looking Penelope Garcia. Instead of being let inside, however, Garcia stepped out and closed the door behind her. She then crossed her arms over her chest and glared in Derek’s direction.

 

“You listen to me, mister,” she began in a cold, hard voice, poking a finger into Derek’s chest and never breaking eye contact with him. “I don’t exactly know what happened between you and my poor drunken baby or what you meant to do by sending that note, and at the moment, I don’t really care. All I know is that, if you value your credit score, bank accounts, or identity information at _all_ , you _will_ go in there and fix what’s wrong. Do I make myself clear?”

 

Derek blinked a few times, almost certain that Garcia could and would make good on her threats if he didn’t listen to her. However, Derek didn’t need the warning from Garcia to want to push her aside, kick down her door, and make right everything that was wrong in Spencer’s world. He licked his lips and, in as steady a voice as he could muster, said, “Baby girl, I want nothing more than to fix things. Like I said over the phone, this whole situation was a _huge_ misunderstanding and… I just want to make it right.”

 

Garcia appeared to think on Derek’s words for a moment before she nodded. “Good,” she said and started to turn around to open her door. However, she quickly turned back around, startling Derek slightly, and said, “I’m going to go to my bedroom to give you two some privacy, but don’t you _dare_ do anything to ruin my couch! Or my rugs… or really anything in my apartment, understand? Oh, and if you take his drunk ass home or something, let me know when you go and do _not_ leave him alone until he sobers up, do I make myself clear?”

 

Derek struggled not to laugh outright at Garcia’s words. Even her angry rantings were somewhat hilarious! “I promise, mama,” he answered, a small smile appearing on his face as appreciation for her concern for Spencer washed over him. “If I have any say in the matter… I’ll never leave his side again.”

 

Garcia blinked in shock but recovered quickly with a wide smile. She then turned and held her door open for him to enter. “Go get him, tiger,” she said playfully with a wink.

 

Derek couldn’t hold back a short laugh this time, but quickly grew serious again when he realized her apartment was quiet and dimly lit.

 

“He’s resting on the couch,” Garcia said softly, noticing Derek’s hesitation.

 

Derek just nodded, took a deep breath, and began to make his way over to his ailing best friend.


	10. I Don't Understand!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! As compensation, this chapter is extra long! It's actually the longest chapter in this entire story so far lol :D As always, let me know what you think! I love reading your comments and seeing the kudos come rolling in :P

Spencer woke up to the feeling of fingers running through his hair and he noticed that, for some reason, his head was laying in someone’s lap. He knew it wasn’t Garcia because the hand in his hair was bigger than hers, so he was temporarily confused about who could be comforting him. Then he caught a hint of cologne… and his whole body stiffened.

 

He opened his eyes but his vision swam violently so he slammed them shut once more. “What do _you_ want,” he slurred out and tried to sit up, but the hand in his hair moved down to his shoulder and held him in place.

 

“Calm down, pretty boy,” Derek said gently but there was a hint of something else in his voice as well… Was that sadness? Why would Derek be sad?

 

Spencer sighed and ceased his struggles to move out of Derek’s lap, realizing that he didn’t really care anymore what happened. “You win,” he said dejectedly as he curled his body up even smaller than it already was.

 

Derek moved his hand back up to stroke over and through Spencer’s hair in a soothing fashion. “What do you mean, Spencer?” he asked quietly and with concern.

 

Spencer sniffed and fought to keep from tearing up. “You win, that’s what I mean.” He cleared his throat when his voice broke slightly and then continued. “I’m done with this whole stupid prank war… I give up. I’m done. You have thoroughly bested me and I acknowledge your victory. Now let me up. I need another drink.”

 

Derek moved to hold Spencer in place once more and said, “Oh no you don’t. That’s the _last_ think you need!” When Spencer stopped struggling again, Derek sighed heavily and said, “As for winning… that was never my intention. You’ve got to believe me when I say this has all been a big misunderstanding, pretty boy.”

 

At that, Spencer opened his eyes and whipped his head around to try to look Derek in the eye, but he immediately regretting moving so fast when the world seemed to spin around him and his stomach lurched. He slapped a hand over his mouth and could actually feel himself going pale when he realized that he was going to throw up… and it was probably going to go all over Derek!

 

Luckily, though, Derek seemed to recognize the signs and quickly helped Spencer to his feet and over to the bathroom where Spencer dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and spewed his stomach contents.

 

Spencer gagged in disgust as his mouth was filled with the taste of alcohol, old milk (probably from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s he’d eaten when he first got home after being stood up), and stomach acid. He spit into the toilet and then closed his eyes to rest his head on the cool porcelain, his breath coming in pants as his stomach did violent flip-flops.

 

He startled when he felt a strong hand rub soothing circles on his back and, for the first time, noticed that another hand had gathered his hair back and was holding it out of the way. Was that Derek? Why the Hell would Derek be concerned with Spencer getting puke in his hair?! After all, he hadn’t cared enough to keep his promise to Spencer that inviting him out to talk privately wasn’t all just a big prank!

 

‘ _But he_ did _say that_ _it was all a big misunderstanding,’_ a somewhat lucid voice in his head put forth. But how in the world _could_ it be? Derek had sent Spencer a note, gotten his hopes up, and then cruelly smashed them away and crushed them underfoot. Where was there room for Spencer to misunderstand Derek’s intentions?!

 

Spencer sighed and shifted so that he could scoot away from Derek’s hands and lean up against a wall. He opened his eyes and stared blurrily at Derek, willing himself not to wobble back and forth as the world still seemed to swim around him. “What do you want from me?” he asked quietly as he sniffed loudly and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand.

 

Derek, who had been crouching down, also sighed before he reached over to flush the toilet and then moved to sit down across from Spencer. “I want you to understand and remember what I need to say,” Derek said slowly and clearly, making sure to keep the best eye contact as he possibly could with Spencer at the moment. “And I don’t know if you’re capable of that right now. So why don’t I take you home so you can sleep it off and we’ll talk tomorrow?”

 

Spencer narrowed his eyes at Derek’s suggestion. What was he trying to pull anyway?! “I’m not going _anywhere_ with you, Derek Morgan,” he said firmly, refraining from shaking his head in case it upset his stomach again. “At least not until you explain how I could have _possibly_ misunderstood you getting my hopes up only to pull them out from under me, all for your sick amusement!” By the end of his sentence he was shouting and tears were starting to stream down his face. He was so upset that he didn’t even care that he’d basically just confessed that he’d been hoping to meet privately with Derek for a while now.

 

“Pretty boy, calm down,” Derek said in a soothing voice, holding his hands up in front of him either defensively or like he was going to try to pull Spencer into his arms in an embrace.

 

Either way, Spencer was having none of it. He scooted himself further back and brought his knees to his chest, his arms folding around his middle like he was trying to hold himself together. “Don’t tell me to calm down!” he practically shrieked as he lowered his forehead to rest it on his knees. “How could you do that to me?! I trusted you! You’re my best friend and I _love_ you! How could you hurt me like this?!”

 

Derek closed his eyes in pain as Spencer started to sob, filling the room with the sounds of a completely broken man. “Oh baby boy,” he said sadly as he got up to sit next to Spencer and drape his arm over the thin, trembling shoulders, holding on tight when Spencer attempted to pull free from the physical contact.

 

Spencer fought for a moment more but couldn’t move so he finally just collapsed into Derek’s side, snuggling into the warmth. What did it matter anymore anyway? He’d just confessed his love to Derek and now Derek was almost certainly going to let him down… again! So, despite the hurt that still coursed through him, throbbing like an open wound, Spencer decided to just make the most of the moment, knowing for sure that he’d never get another chance after this to be so close to the man he loved.

 

But then he felt Derek lean down and plant a kiss on the top of Spencer’s head, mumbling something that froze Spencer completely. Taking a deep, shuttering breath, Spencer brought his head up to look over at Derek and, quietly, he stuttered out, “Wh-What d-did you just say?”

 

Derek smiled sadly and squeezed Spencer’s arm gently as he repeated his mumbled words. “I said that I love you too, baby boy.” He then leaned over and kissed Spencer softly on the cheek, reaching over after he pulled back to wipe the remnants of tears off of Spencer’s red-blotched face.

 

Spencer just blinked, his mouth falling open at Derek’s words and actions. This couldn’t be right… Had Spencer drank so much that he was now hallucinating? He cleared his throat and sniffed before swallowing audibly and hesitantly asking, “Th-This isn’t another j-joke… is it?”

 

Derek sighed and hugged Spencer closer to his side. “No, hunny, it’s not a joke,” Derek answered sadly as he tried to keep his own emotions steady. “Nothing today has gone the way I’d wanted it to… and _none_ of it was supposed to make you feel so horrible, baby. I’m _so_ sorry that I hurt you. Please believe me when I say I never meant to.”

 

Spencer licked his lips and tried to follow what Derek was saying but his head hurt and nothing was making sense. “I don’t understand!” he moaned out and shut his eyes as another wave of tears hit him and he started sobbing into Derek’s shoulder once more.

 

“Shhh, I know,” Derek said soothingly as he rubbed his hand up and down Spencer’s back, feeling the little knobs of his spine poking up under his skin and thinking that Spencer really needed to eat more… or at least supplement his diet with something other than jelly beans, coffee, and, apparently now, alcohol. “It’s all going to be ok. Come on, let me take you home. I’ll explain everything tomorrow, ok? I promise.”

 

Spencer took a few deep breaths to try to calm himself down, still immensely confused at how the evening had panned out. But, feeling like he had nothing else to lose anyway, he eventually raised his head and, after finding Derek’s deep, somewhat sad eyes staring directly at him, Spencer licked his lips and nodded his head. “Ok,” he softly consented and started to unfold himself to rise from the floor.

 

Derek immediately pushed himself up and held a hand out for Spencer to grasp.

 

Spencer eyed the hand suspiciously for a second but then reached up to accept the help. However, standing suddenly made him lightheaded and he felt himself start to wobble and fall, his knees buckling under him.

 

Derek reacted immediately, though and caught Spencer up against his chest, holding him steady and on his feet. “Whoa there,” he said as he reached up to brush a lock of hair out of Spencer’s face.

 

Spencer blearily stared up at Derek and then yawned, his mouth stretching into a wide ‘O’. He was so tired all of a sudden! When had that happened?!

 

Derek chuckled slightly and positioned Spencer so that his arm was slung over Derek’s shoulders and Derek’s arm was supporting Spencer around his waist. “Come on, kid,” Derek said in a warm voice as he slowly walked out of the bathroom, Spencer leaning heavily into his side as he shuffled his feet in time with Derek’s steps.

 

Before he got too far on his way to the front door, however, Derek remembered Garcia’s warning to let her know what was going on or face the consequences. So Derek changed his direction to walk to her bedroom door, eliciting a small whine from Spencer who just wanted to get to wherever they were going so he could lay down and sleep.

 

Derek smirked and reached out a hand to softly knock on Garcia’s door, calling out, “Baby girl, I’m taking Spencer home, ok?”

 

He heard movement within the room before the door opened revealing Garcia’s concerned face. The lines of worry only deepened when she saw that Spencer was nearly unconscious and Derek’s arms were the only things keeping him on his feet. She then looked up into Derek’s eyes and said, “You take care of him, you hear?”

 

Derek thought her words sounded more like a threat, but he again found himself appreciative of her concern over the boy genius. “I will, Mama,” he said firmly, holding her eye contact and not looking away even once. “You have my word.”

 

Garcia took a moment to think about Derek’s words, but then nodded her consent. “Alright, but remember what I said,” she said, her voice stern as she pointed a finger into Derek’s chest. “Don’t you leave him alone until he feels better!”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Derek said with a small smile, slightly amused when Spencer closed his eyes and rested his cheek on Derek’s shoulder, seemingly oblivious to everything that was going on around him. He started to turn them around, Spencer startling a little at suddenly having to move again, but then looked back over his shoulder at Garcia. “Thanks baby girl,” he said softly, but with warmth in his voice. “You know… for everything.”

 

Garcia smiled brightly and enthusiastically answered, “Any time, Chocolate Thunder! I’m always happy to help my babies!” She then smirked and reached out to lightly slap Derek on the ass, causing him to jump slightly. “Now get out of here. You two have fun!”

 

Derek chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, the drunk genius and I are going to have _loads_ of fun tonight.” He then started to walk forward toward Garcia’s front door, practically dragging Spencer’s limp form beside him. After a few steps, however, Derek sighed and stopped, reaching the arm that wasn’t around Spencer’s waist down to support it behind Spencer’s knees, easily picking him up bridal style.

 

Spencer whined at the sudden movement but he didn’t open his eyes and only moved enough to nuzzle his face into the crook of Derek’s neck.

 

Derek heard Garcia giggle from behind him but he didn’t turn around, knowing that Spencer was out for the count and needed to get home and in bed as fast as possible.

 

“Let me get the door for you,” Garcia said, coming around Derek to open the door for him to pass through, watching to make sure he didn’t accidentally bash any part of poor Spencer into the door frame as he walked.

 

“Thanks, Garcia,” Derek mumbled, concentrating on his footing so he didn’t drop his precious cargo. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Oh I don’t think so,” Garcia said with a smirk, making Derek turn around to look at her in confusion. “There’s _no_ way 187 is going to feel good enough to go to work tomorrow and I already told you that you’d better not leave him alone until he feels better. Don’t worry! I’ll run interference for you! Just take him home and make for _damn_ sure that everything is alright between the two of you. Got it?”

 

Derek blinked a few times but then smiled warmly at the wonderful woman standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “You’re amazing, baby girl.”

 

“I know,” Garcia answered as she put her nose in the air in mock snootiness. “Now get your butt out of here!”

 

Derek smirked but just nodded before he turned around and slowly made his way down the hall to the elevator, not trusting himself to walk downstairs while carrying Spencer in his arms. Derek breathed deeply as he cuddled the lithe form closer to his chest, praying that somehow everything would be ok after he explained things to Spencer tomorrow.


	11. Everything Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, guys. I'm having a bit of writer's block but I'm trying to write through it anyway. There's probably only going to be one or two more chapters in this story and I haven't decided if I'm going to write a sequel or not. If anyone is interested in a sequel and/or have suggestions about what should happen to Spencer and Derek, just let me know :) I always appreciate positive comments, constructive criticism, or suggestions! I hope you enjoy this!

Spencer woke up with a pounding headache. He let out an involuntary moan, but that only made things worse. The noise and internal vibration caused by the sound not only made his head hurt _more_ , but it also brought to light the fact that _everything_ seemed to hurt! He tried to shift around somewhat to relieve the aching that seemed to go all the way down to his bones, but anything he did just seemed to add to the pain instead of get rid of it.

 

For some reason, he decided to open his eyes, but as soon as he did, what felt like a blinding white light bored its way into his brain. He snapped his eyes shut again and groaned, wondering what the _Hell_ could have happened to make him feel so terrible! Before he could think about the subject further, however, his stomach rolled and lurched and he knew he was going to be sick.

 

He slapped a hand over his mouth and sat up quickly, which made his head spin. Before he could decide what to do next, though, an arm was around his shoulders supporting his back and something was shoved into his chest. Praying that it was a bucket or basin of some sort (because opening his eyes again just to check felt like too much effort at the moment), he took his hand away from his mouth and began to retch and gag as he threw up his stomach contents.

 

He was grateful for whoever was with him because, without the supporting arm around him, he doubted if he would have been able to stay upright. He could feel himself swaying slightly as his body tried to compensate for the dizziness that he felt. He felt so weak and no matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to find any relief from the throbbing pain radiating throughout his entire body. Even his _hair_ hurt! He didn’t even know that was possible!

 

When he was finished expelling whatever was left in his system, Spencer went completely limp and slumped over to lean into whoever was holding him up, noting in the back of his mind that the person was comfortably warm and evoked emotions of safety and love in him. He sighed and relaxed even further, this person almost magically taking away some of the pain that he was feeling.

 

He whimpered when the person next to him shifted slightly, but then the arm moved down to rub up and down his back and a quiet voice said, “Shhh, its ok. I’m just getting you some Tylenol and then you can go back to sleep, alright?”

 

Spencer wanted to nod but was afraid the action would make him feel sick again so he just grunted as he tried to figure out who the voice belonged to. He was appreciative that the person had whispered because his head felt like it was about to explode and spray his grey matter all over the room, but at the same time, whispering made it harder for Spencer to identify who exactly he was cuddling up against.

 

‘ _I wish it was Derek,’_ he thought to himself but then immediately shut that thought down. He couldn’t, at the moment, recall _why_ exactly that the person next to him could never be Derek… but he just knew that it was an impossibility. That revelation surprisingly made him extremely sad so he quickly wiped it away and just concentrated on who the person _could_ be… not who it couldn’t.

 

“Open your mouth, hunny,” the voice said softly and Spencer complied. Two pills were shoved in his mouth as he wondered who the Hell could be calling him ‘hunny’… He honestly couldn’t think of _anyone_ except maybe Garcia, and Spencer knew for a _fact_ that the person beside him was male, meaning it definitely wasn’t Garcia.

 

A cup of water was then lifted to his lips and Spencer wondered if he should try to open his eyes just to satisfy his curiosity, but then decided against it when another sharp pain hit him between the eyes, which made him wince and groan into the cup. He took a drink of the water to wash down the pills as the hand on his back continued to rub in soothing circles.

 

Then the cup was taken away and Spencer was once more lowered down into a laying position. That was when he realized that he was on a bed. ‘ _Am I home?’_ he wondered vaguely as he tried to find a comfortable position against the pillows. After a moment, however, Spencer realized that he didn’t really care where he was as long as he got to go back to sleep.

 

He jumped when a cool cloth was placed on his forehead, but then sighed when it brought some comfort to his aching head. Fingers started raking through his hair and massaging his scalp, which brought even more relief, and he leaned into the gentle touches, again wondering who on _Earth_ (other than his mother) would be so loving toward him.

 

“Go back to sleep, pretty boy,” the person said warmly, and Spencer froze solid in shock. There was only one person who called him that… and Spencer had already concluded that this person absolutely _couldn’t_ be him! Could it?

 

“I’ll be here when you wake up. I’m going to take care of you,” the person said and Spencer swallowed audibly, finally recognizing Derek’s voice.

 

With more effort than it should have taken, Spencer cracked open his eyes slightly to stare blurrily at the figure sitting on the side of the bed. It definitely _looked_ like Derek… but why would he be here? And why would he want to take care of Spencer? It just didn’t make any sense!

 

His eyes slipped closed once more and he felt himself slipping back into sleep. His head hurt and nothing seemed to make sense so he was somewhat glad that his body was apparently running on autopilot and didn’t need him to make decisions for it.

 

‘ _Maybe Derek really_ isn’t _here_ ,’ he thought as he relaxed further into the pillows and just enjoyed the feel of the fingers running through his hair. ‘ _Maybe I have a fever and I’m just_ hallucinating _Derek.’_

 

He sighed once more and the last thing he thought before he fell back asleep was that, no matter _what_ was going on, he was just going to enjoy the feelings of comfort and safety that he felt before it all faded away and left him alone again.

 

* * *

 

 

When Spencer woke up again, he felt a hundred times better! His head still pulsed along with his heartbeat and he could tell, as he warily opened his eyes, that he was still slightly light sensitive, but at least he didn’t feel like he was _dying_ anymore.

 

He took a few deep breaths as he tried to gather together his senses and thoughts and attempted to piece together what exactly brought him to this state. ‘ _Probably alcohol,’_ he figured with a groan. This definitely _felt_ like a hangover. Spencer didn’t drink often because he was such a light-weight and he hardly _ever_ drank to the point where he felt this _terrible_ the next morning. ‘ _What the Hell happened to make me drink like that?’_

 

Spencer closed his eyes and tried to think. He usually remembered just about everything that happened to him (which was often more of a curse than a blessing) so he had no doubt that the previous night’s activities were banging around _somewhere_ in his head… he just had to find them.

 

Slowly and carefully so as not to upset the relief he was currently experiencing, Spencer sat up and then leaned forward so he could put his head in his hands. As he massaged his temples, he thought back to the last clear thing he remembered, hoping to follow the line of thought into the murky depths of last night’s events.

 

‘ _The prank war,’_ he thought with disdain as he remembered all the various things that he and Derek had done to each other, seemingly just for a laugh. God, what a terrible idea _that_ had been! ‘ _I shouldn’t have indulged him, no matter_ how _much I liked the extra time around him,’_ Spencer thought sadly, taking a few more deep breaths to calm his mind.

 

Then he suddenly froze when his mind came to the last prank on the long list. The note. The meeting. “Oh,” Spencer said out loud and sat up straight as a wave of hurt washed over him. He remembered now… Spencer had thought that Derek was serious, but then he’d stood him up. And then Spencer had gotten drunk and… what was next? That wasn’t all that had happened, of that he was sure.

 

‘ _Garcia,’_ he thought, her name just popping into his head. ‘ _I went to see Garcia and we talked… and then… and then… wait… no, no that’s impossible!’_

 

Spencer’s breathing had gotten faster and was coming in harsh gasps when he finally remembered what happened after that. He’d fallen asleep on Garcia’s couch and had woken… with his head in Derek’s lap and Derek had been running his fingers through Spencer’s hair almost lovingly. Why?

 

Spencer ran through what they’d said to each other, then gasped and slapped his hands over his mouth. ‘ _Derek… he said… he said, “I love you too, baby boy.” Why did he say that? Did he mean it?’_

 

Then Spencer remembered discovering that it was Derek who had comforted him and taken care of him when he’d woken earlier. So it _wasn’t_ a hallucination! But then… what was it? If Derek… _loved_ him… then why had he played such a cruel trick on him?

 

_‘“You’ve got to believe me when I say this has all been a big misunderstanding, pretty boy,”’_ Derek had said at Garcia’s house. What else had he said? _‘“Nothing today has gone the way I’d wanted it to… I’m so sorry that I hurt you. Please believe me when I say I never meant to… I’ll explain everything tomorrow, ok? I promise.”’_

 

“He didn’t mean to hurt me,” he whispered to himself as he ran his hands down his face. “I don’t understand any of this.”

 

He then sighed and moved the covers to the side so he could slide out of bed, realizing for the first time that he was still wearing the button-up shirt he’d worn to work yesterday but that his pants had been taken off, leaving him only in his black and blue striped boxer briefs. Spencer blushed and bit his bottom lip when he concluded that it was probably Derek that had dressed him down since he remembered Derek offering him a ride home last night.

 

Suddenly, however, that feeling of embarrassment turned into one of panic when he grasped the fact that yesterday was Monday, which meant that today was Tuesday and he had _work_ today! He whipped his head around to look at the clock, but must have moved too fast because the next thing he knew, he was crashing to the floor on his left side and letting out a strangled yelp as he turned his wrist.

 

Loud footsteps could be heard coming down the hall toward the bedroom in reaction to the noise Spencer had made and almost immediately, Derek was kneeling down in front of him with a worried look on his face. “Spencer, are you alright?” he asked as he quickly looked Spencer over and then helped him to sit up, keeping his hands on Spencer’s shoulders. “What happened?”

 

Spencer blinked a few times as he just stared at Derek, his previous panic subsiding as he tried to comprehend the fact that the man of his dreams was kneeling in front of him in his bedroom. “You’re still here?” he asked needlessly (because Derek was _obviously_ still there)… but something in him was strongly urging him to make sure anyway.

 

Derek smiled somewhat sadly and then took one of his hands off of Spencer’s shoulder to run through the genius’s long hair. “Yeah, I’m still here, pretty boy,” he answered softly and then gently took his hand to cup Spencer’s cheek. “I wasn’t about to leave after the fiasco that was all of yesterday.”

 

The mention of yesterday brought Spencer’s previous panic back to the surface and he immediately checked the clock on his nightstand. “Oh my god, its 12:30!” he exclaimed in a high pitched voice and he quickly began to try to hoist himself off of the floor so he could get get ready for work. When Derek moved his hand back down to Spencer’s shoulder and held him in place on the floor, Spencer looked at Derek with wide eyes and spluttered out, “I’m late for work! _You’re_ late for work! Why are we here? Why are _you_ here? We – We need to _go_ , Derek!”

 

“Hey, hey, calm down, Spencer,” Derek soothed, not breaking eye contact with the panicked young man. “It’s all good. I called Hotch, who had already met with Garcia, and he gave us both today off unless a case comes up.”

 

Spencer took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, like Derek had suggested. “Ga-Garcia talked to him?” he asked warily, wondering what she could have told Hotch to make him ok with _both_ of them playing hooky.

 

As if he could read Spencer’s mind, Derek chuckled slightly and answered, “Yeah, she said she would run interference for us, but I’m not sure what she told him… and I’m not altogether sure I want to _know_ , either.”

 

Spencer smiled a little but still found the whole situation highly confusing… and Spencer did _not_ like to be confused (even though that seemed to be happening a lot lately). “I-I don’t really…” he started in a hoarse voice, but then stopped and cleared his throat, averting his eyes to stare down at his knees as he reached over to rub his still-hurting left wrist. He licked his lips and started over. “I don’t understand what’s going on here. You… You said that you would explain?”

 

Derek squeezed Spencer’s shoulders briefly before he let go and stood up. “Come on, I made breakfast… or lunch… whatever you want to call it… I made food.”

 

Spencer looked up and saw Derek reaching out to help him to his feet. Spencer took the hand after a moment’s hesitation and slowly rose to stand, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t get dizzy and pitch forward into Derek’s arms… although now that he thought about it, that option really wouldn’t be all that bad either.

 

He let out a breath when he was steady on his feet but then blushed when Derek said, “Why don’t you get dressed and then I’ll explain what I can while we eat. Ok?” Spencer had somehow forgotten that he didn’t have any pants on! He couldn’t verbally answer Derek through his embarrassment, so he just nodded, then hung his head and quickly walked over to his dresser to pick out clothes.

 

Spencer was grateful when Derek left the bedroom and closed the door behind him to give Spencer some privacy. He blew out a breath and slipped on a pair of jeans, which were something that he almost never wore but since he wasn’t going to work, he thought it might look weird if he dressed in work clothes (and he most certainly wasn’t going to wear just sweats and a T-shirt while Derek was in the house!).

 

He then changed his shirt, ran a brush through his unruly hair, and put some deodorant on since he didn’t want to make Derek wait by taking a shower. He just hoped he didn’t smell or look _too_ gross since drinking always made him feel sweaty and greasy the next day. Spencer cringed a little at the thought of being dirty around Derek, who always seemed to be absolutely perfect in every way.

 

When he was as ready as he could be, Spencer stood in front of the bedroom door, holding his hand out to open it. He took a minute to compose himself, then he took a deep breath and opened the door quickly before he could change his mind and instead run and hide under his bed, never to be seen again.

 

‘ _You’re being stupid!’_ he told himself as he cautiously walked down his hallway toward the main room of his apartment that contained his living room, kitchen, and dining room altogether. He didn’t know exactly what to expect, but when he saw Derek standing in the kitchen, his back turned to Spencer as he messed with something on the stove, he instinctively knew that it would all be alright.

 

Yes, he loved the dark man who looked like such a natural fixture in Spencer’s small home, but as long as Spencer could remain friends with him, he knew he could handle just about anything. So, he took a deep breath, fixed a smile on his face, and walked up to stand beside the statuesque figure of his best friend.


End file.
